He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
