he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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