1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
