just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You're like the curious george of whores
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
