one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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