why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
