I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
