every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
