And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
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