well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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