When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
