I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
