I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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