There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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