how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
