Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
