we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
