The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
