Ambien. No doubt about it.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize