She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
