just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
