First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
