U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
