Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
