toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
