every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
