He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
