Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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