Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
