I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So many bounce houses so little time
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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