used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She needs sedatives and a leash
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
