this beer tastes like vomit already
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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