If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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