yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
