All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i already hear my dad disowning me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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