Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
