The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize