so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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