Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
