at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
