I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You made out with two different species that night
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
