it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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