How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
