Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
