Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
