yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think your dad took our porno
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize