She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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