Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
