I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I think my fart just growled at me.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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