imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
did i walk over a car last night?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
