porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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