A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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