I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
