I hate all girls vehemently.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I think my moral compass just broke
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