ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
