you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
