I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
