Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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