Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
